What's Expected
by Sie-Na Sinc
Summary: Sent to the planet Arboreal to negotiate peace and render aid Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, several members of the Council and the Healers find themselves in the midst of a devastating war. Obi-Wan learns something about himself.
1. What's Expected Part 1

AUTHOR: Sie-Na Sinc

RATING: Mostly PG-13 but some R-for graphic content.

OBI-WAN'S AGE: 18

SUMMARY: Sent to the planet Arboreal to negotiate peace and render aid Qui-Gon, Obi -Wan, several members of the Council and the healers find themselves in the midst of a devastating war.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first fan fiction so please feel free to critique my work, good or bad I need to know my strong points, if any, and my weaknesses. Also, thanks to The New Essential Guide to Characters for the information on the noticeable Star Wars Characters.

DISCLAIMER: All noticeable Star Wars characters belong to George Lucas. The healers are mine. I'm not making any money from this and no infringement of any kind is intended.

Indicates telepathy

_Indicates thought _

_

* * *

_

**WHAT'S EXPECTED**

**_

* * *

_**

CHAPTER 1

Obi-Wan Kenobi stood on the steps of the makeshift hospital looking out across the devastation left by three years of war. The landscape blackened by fire. Most of the buildings in the city had been destroyed by laser cannon fire. The few remaining buildings were either smoldering shells or still burning after being rocked by explosions caused by the cannon fire. Of these, the ones deemed safe enough for occupation were made into hospitals and morgues to accommodate the ever-growing number of casualties and dead. He had only been on Arboreal for three months but it seemed much longer. He had witnessed horrific injuries, and seen bodies mangled in unimaginable ways. In the short time he had been here the steady flow of casualties coming into the hospital he was stationed at didn't leave much opportunity for rest. He and his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, had been sent, along with several leading members of the Jedi Council, three other padawans and four of the temple's top healers, to negotiate peace and render aid. Qui-Gon and the Council members were sent to negotiate peace while the healers and the padawans were sent to various hospitals to render aid. Suddenly, Obi-Wan heard someone coming up behind him and immediately knew whom it was.

"Hello Healer Trudeau," he said not turning around.

Healer Trudeau came to stand beside Obi-Wan. "Thought I'd find you out here. Not much of a view anymore is it?"

"No it's not and it's quite a shame too. This used to be a beautiful place, so green and full of life. Now look at it, burned and blackened, so much death and destruction. Everything's either dead or dying. It's just so senseless." Obi-Wan said somberly, the pain filtering into his voice.

"It's hard to see it like this. There is so much death and destruction all around it's hard not to be consumed by the pain. Sometimes, as you know, things happen in the force and we don't understand why but we're not supposed to understand only accept it and move with it to do what is expected of us," Healer Trudeau said trying to reassure Obi-Wan.

"I know, but sometimes it's just so hard to do that. It's so cold here, so dark.... So very dark." Obi-Wan said a shiver overtaking him.

"I know. I know, but just keep focusing on the light. Always remember to keep the light inside of you and not let go of it. It will help you overcome the darkness that is all around us." Healer Trudeau said as he draped his arm over Obi-Wan's shoulder." Come on now we're needed inside."

The two turned and started back into the hospital. Through their bond Obi-Wan sent a message to his Master.

Master can you hear me? I wish you were here I could really use your help right now. I fear the darkness here is going to consume me before long… I should not bother you with this. You have enough to deal with without me adding to it. This is silly...I'm so sorry to disturb you Master. 

* * *

CHAPTER 2

Mace Windu, Kit Fisto, Plo Koon, Yaddle and Qui-Gon sat at a large table across from the delegates of the nations fighting this war. Tinia and Slovaria were the only two nations left on this war torn planet. The five smaller nations had either been destroyed or overthrown. The negotiations had been going on for three long months and little or no progress was being made, neither of the two nations wanting to give up the fight for control of the natural energy source. Kit Fisto stood to address the delegates.

"Gentlemen. Gentlemen. Enough of this bickering, my colleagues and I have all seen the devastation that war can bring to a planet but I have to say that I have never seen as much destruction as I have on this planet. You're squabbling over an energy source has led to the almost total destruction of your planet. Before this war started, you were a lush green world, teeming with life. You had a population of six hundred billion. Had being the key word hereNow you've lost nearly a billion people. This planet is going to die if you don't stop this war. What's it going to take to make you wake up? You're fighting over an energy source so you can control the world. If you keep this up, gentlemen, there isn't going to be a world to control." Kit Fisto said making eye contact with the two delegates.

"Unlike my colleague, I do see your point Master Jedi. However, if he takes control of the energy source he will subjugate my people into slavery." the Slovarian delegate snarled.

"How do you know what I do and do not understand you Nerf Herder? And another thing you piece of Bantha poodo, I never said anything about subjugating your people. Besides, slavery is illegal in the Republic." The Tinian delegate argued.

"This is getting us nowhere," Plo Koon said as he jumped from his seat and grabbed the delegates by the collar and dragging them out the door.

Mace Windu, Kit Fisto, Yaddle and Qui-Gon all exchanged surprised looks and followed their colleague out the door.

"You two are shielded from everything down here. You see it on the vid reports but I think you need to see firsthand what this war is doing to your planet." Kit Fisto said dragging them to the surface and kicking the bunker door open to the outside and shoving the two delegates out the door.

The two of them stood there blinking their eyes trying to focus in on something. As their eyes focused they stared in awe at the sight before them. Dead bodies of men, women, and children littered the roadway in varying states of decomposition. The stench of death was overpowering. Unable to speak the Tinian delegate just stood there looking out at the devastation his eyes coming to rest on the body of a boy barely six standard years old. The boy had obviously been killed by debris from a building that had been hit by laser cannon fire. After a few minutes time Mace Windu stepped forward.

"It's easy to give orders when you think you're not affected. You can sit in your bunkers and send someone to their death because you think their blood's not on your hands, but it really is. Is it worth all this? How many more children have to die before you end this? How many more innocent lives are you going to destroy in your quest to control this energy source? You want to control the world but I ask you both.... Is it better to govern a nation of many or a world of one?" Mace said calmly.

With Mace's last words sinking in the two delegates hung their head in shame.

"Master Jedi, we wish to negotiate terms for a cease fire. That is if it is agreeable with you?" The Tinian delegate said gesturing to the Slovarian delegate.

"Yes, it is agreeable. It's time we ended this before it becomes the end of us." The Slovarian delegate said quietly, still reeling from the sites that had overtaken his senses.

"That's the first smart thing you two have said in a very long time," Qui-Gon said a slight hint of humor in his voice to ease

the tensions even further.

"Help you in any way the Council will," said Yaddle.

They all turned and retreated back into the bunker to finish the negotiations. After only a few hours everything had been settled. The energy source would be divided equally among the two of them. They both agreed it would take cooperation on both parts to make this peace work. They both agreed to make a world broadcast to announce the end of the war.

"Thank you all. Maybe now we can use this technology we have to better our planet instead of destroying it." The Slovarian delegate said.

"Here, here. If we put our technologies together we can do wonders for our planet." said the Tinian delegate.

The broadcast was made and at its conclusion the Jedi congratulated the delegates on their first step to peace.

"Gentlemen, if our services are no longer required then we would like to join the other Jedi to help render medical aid." Mace Windu said.

The five Jedi bowed deeply to the delegates and left the bunker to join their padawans. Mace Windu accompanied his old friend Qui-Gon to join Obi-Wan at the hospital he was stationed at. The two old friends walked down the debris littered roadway. Qui-Gon had been quiet all day long as if preoccupied with something.

"Qui, what's bugging you?"

Startled out of his preoccupation by Mace Windu, Qui-Gon jumped slightly.

"Huh...I'm sorry Mace did you say something?"

"Yeah, I said isn't this such a beautiful sight?"

"Huh.... What do you mean a beautiful sight? This is terrible." Qui-Gon snapped in disbelief of his friend's statement.

"I was trying to see if you were paying attention. What's wrong...Something's bugging you." Mace said concerned for his friend.

"I'm sorry Mace.... It's Obi-Wan. He is afraid… afraid of the darkness here. I could feel the fear through our bond and it nearly overwhelmed me...."

"But..." Mace prodded his friend on.

"But that's not what's bothering me. As quickly as he called out for help through our bond he dismissed his fear as if it were childish of him to feel this way. I know he's twenty-one now but he's still so young. "Qui-Gon said concern etched in his voice.

"I know what you're saying old friend. I've heard basically the same thing from the others." Mace said sympathetically.

"Maybe it wasn't such a wise idea bringing them here." Qui-Gon simply stated quickening his pace.

"They are Jedi padawans. They have been trained in ways to deal with this. They are stronger than you give them credit for. They will get trough this with the help of the force." Mace stated trying to reassure his friend.

"I know that Mace but being trained in the sterile environment of the Temple and actually being exposed to it is two different things. This is the first time they have been exposed to anything like this. It's going to affect them and you know it." Qui-Gon said arguing his friend's point.

"Only time will tell my friend...Only time will tell." Mace stated.

The two Jedi made it to the hospital and saw Obi-Wan standing alone on the steps. As the got closer they could see he was slightly thinner by the way his tunics hung on him. His face was pale and drawn with dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and fatigue. The haunted look in his eyes left when Obi-Wan saw his Master and immediately bound down the steps toward him wrapping his arms around the tall Jedi.

"Oh Master, I thought you'd never get here." Obi-Wan said pulling out of his Master's embrace and finally seeing Mace Windu standing there a little surprised by the padawan's actions.

"Oh Master Windu I am so sorry. Forgive my impoliteness. I didn't see you there." Obi-Wan said, his cheeks coloring slightly.

"It's OK Obi-Wan. I'll let it slide.... this time." Mace said adding a hint of humor at the end to lighten the mood slightly.

"We're here to help Obi-Wan. Can you take us to Healer Trudeau?" Qui-Gon asked pulling Obi-Wan's attention back to him.

"Oh yes Master, this way." Obi-Wan said gesturing for the two to follow him." Then it's true? It's finally over?" He asked not quite believing it.

"Yes padawan it's finally over. These people can finally start rebuilding their lives." Qui-Gon said

A sigh escaped Obi-Wan's lips as he escorted the two Masters to find the Healer. Mace and Qui-Gon were taken by surprise by the sight and smell inside the hospital. Every inch of space was covered by people with varying degrees of horrific injuries, some obviously too far gone for help. The smell of dead and rotting flesh nearly made the two of them sick. The two Jedi Masters were beginning to see why Obi-Wan was having such a hard time with this.

_So much death. The boy…. No wait a minute he's not a boy anymore… but still he's so young. No wonder he's having such a hard time with this._

Sensing their discomfort Obi-Wan stopped and turned to them.

"After a while the smell won't bother you. You'll be sick for about two days then your senses will adjust." Obi-Wan said emotionlessly. It is also better not to get emotionally attached to anyone in here. Just do what you can for them and move on to the next one."

Qui-Gon and Mace exchanged looks, not knowing what to say. Obi-Wan turned and started taking them to Healer Trudeau again, a single tear escaping down his cheek.

_Don't get emotionally involved. If only I could follow my own advice. I shouldn't be giving in to these emotions. There is no emotion...there is peace. Why can't I make myself believe that? Enough of this Kenobi you are a Jedi. This behavior is not the behavior of a Jedi.You must do what is expected of you. You cannot disappoint your Master._

The trio made their way to Healer Trudeau. Upon arriving at their destination they greeted him with a bow.

"Hello gentlemen. It is so good to see you two knowing that peace is finally upon this planet." Healer Trudeau stated enthusiastically.

"Yes peace is good, but as you are well aware of the work here is far from over." Mace said.

"Yes, there is still so much work to be done. Which reminds me...Obi-Wan, unfortunately, you are needed in surgery again." Trudeau said the enthusiasm leaving his voice.

"Oh.... OK...I guess I'll be seeing the two of you later then." Obi-Wan said giving them all a bow before departing for surgery.

Watching Obi-Wan's retreating form Healer Trudeau hung his head and said, "I'm sorry gentlemen but it pains me to see him like this. One so young should not have to see as much as he has... to be subjected to what he has been subjected to."

"What do you mean, "subjected to"? Qui-Gon interrupted surprised.

"I'm sorry to say that his presence was requested to be used in place of anesthesia...You see, gentlemen, supplies have been running very low. They have been for the last couple of weeks. Because of the short supply, it is only used for extensive surgeries. For amputations and minor surgeries either Obi-Wan or myself puts the patient into a forced induced sleep. We are required to remain in the operating room in case the patient begins to wake up." Trudeau painfully stated.

The two Jedi Masters stared at Trudeau in disbelief.

"The horrors he has witnessed are unimaginable. Not the exact use of the force that you had in mind is it? The other hospitals are experiencing the same thing. Once this planet starts healing and we all leave there are four padawans that are going to need a great deal of help in healing themselves." Healer Trudeau said despondently.

"Where would you like us to start?" Mace asked

"Master Windu you can go out into the main hold and make them comfortable. Use the force if you have to. Master Jinn you can go and wait by the door to surgery for Obi-Wan. He'll be needing you when he comes out. Don't be too surprised by the way he looks upon his exit."

"As you wish." Mace and Qui-Gon said in unison.

Qui-Gon waited for Obi-Wan to come out of surgery for what seemed like an eternity. The doors finally opened and the surgeons came out followed by an extremely pale Obi-Wan. Shocked by his padawan's appearance he rushed to him.

"Obi-Wan are you OK?!"

"Yes Master I'm....."Obi-Wan began saying as his stomach started rolling he turned and emptied its contents into a nearby trash receptacle. "I guess I haven't gotten used to that yet. Don't know if I ever will as a matter of fact." He stated looking at his Master sheepishly.

"Obi-Wan I'm so sorry you've had to witness these horrors." Qui-Gon stated sympathetically.

"There is nothing for you to be sorry for Master. You didn't start this war. Besides, it was my duty as a Jedi padawan to do what was expected of me. I did what any Jedi would have done. It is my duty as well as my honor to uphold the Jedi Code and do what is expected of me by the Council." Obi-Wan stated.

"That may be so, padawan, but I believe this goes above and beyond the call of duty." Qui-Gon said looking to Obi-Wan seeing even more of the color drain from his face and his eyes roll. "Master I….neeee." "Obi-Wan?!" He shouted as his padawan collapsed in a heap to the floor. He immediately picked him up and rushed down the hall to Healer Trudeau.

"Something's wrong with Obi-Wan. He collapsed as we were talking after he came out of surgery." Qui-Gon quickly stated.

I was wondering when it was going to happen. He's been working non-stop with little or no sleep since we got here. It was only a matter of time. Put him down over there." Healer Trudeau said gesturing to a nearby cot.

Qui-Gon gently lay Obi-Wan on the cot and Healer Trudeau checked him out. "Just as I suspected...He's completely exhausted. His mind and his heart were willing but his body just couldn't keep going any longer. He has amazing strength and determination for one so young, and I have to say I have never seen the light of the force burn so brightly around anyone before. He's going to be out for quite a while." Healer Trudeau reported to Qui-Gon.

* * *

CHAPTER 3

After four days of exhaustion induced sleep Obi-Wan finally woke up, his Master by his side. Slowly his eyes focused in on his surroundings. His heart ached anew at the sights, much the same as before. He had thought that since the war was over that maybe the casualties would slack off. He tried to sit up realizing there was still much work to be done.

"Hold it right there Obi-Wan. You're not strong enough yet." Qui-Gon said pushing his padawan back down on the cot.

"But Master, I have to help. There is still so much to be done."

"Yes...But not by you Obi-Wan. You still need to rest."

"But Master, please. I have to help. These people need me and I cannot help them from this cot. I have to do what is expected of me. Besides, Master, this cot could be used by someone who really needs it." Obi-Wan said pushing against Qui-Gon's hand.

"Someone who need it IS using it. No one is expecting you to kill yourself trying to help. You will lie down and rest. That's an order padawan." Qui-Gon said using the force to emphasize his words.

"But Master please I need to help. If I don't do something I will succumb to this darkness surrounding me. Please Master don't let the darkness take me." Obi-Wan pleaded laying back on the cot. Within minutes he was asleep again. As he slept nightmares began invading his sleep. The images of torn and mangled bodies. The screams of the injured and dying begging for peace. Blood everywhere. The faces of all the children killed, maimed, or orphaned, their questioning eyes staring through his soul breaking his heart anew. Suddenly he awoke screaming, sweat poring off his face. Mace Windu, who had been a few yards away, raced to his side.

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan! Calm down. It's alright. Easy, easy. It's over. It was just a dream." Mace said trying to comfort Obi-Wan but only seeing panic and pain in the young man's eyes.

"Master, get it off. Get it off. It won't come off. Help me get it off. Those eyes, those hollow haunting eyes. Make it go away, please." Obi-Wan choked out not yet fully awake to realize that it wasn't his Master comforting him.

"Get what off Obi-Wan? Come on wake up. Look at me. Open your eyes Obi-Wan." Mace pressed trying to get the young apprentice out of his dream state.

Obi-Wan, finally becoming fully awake, said, "Oh, Master Windu it's you. Where's Master Qui-Gon?"

"He's in surgery. Now Obi-Wan what did you mean by "get it off"? Get what off?"

"Surgery??? No he can't be. He's not supposed to be in there. I am the only one who can help them in there. He shouldn't be made to go through that. Master Windu, I need to get him out of there. If I don't it will consume him too. I can't let that happen, not to him. I must protect him, he is my Master and it is my duty as a Jedi to protect him." Obi-Wan rambled turning away from Mace not wanting the Jedi Master to see his pain and anguish. Suddenly, he felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder and give it a gentle, reassuring squeeze. Unable to contain his emotions any longer he finally broke down and began to sob uncontrollably. The emotions of the last three months flooding out. Once the sobbing had subsided enough for him to speak he turned back to Mace and said, " Master Windu will you help me get the blood off? I can't get the blood off my skin. See, it won't come off. Why did this stupid war have to happen.? So many people dead. So many..." Obi-Wan muttered all the while trying to rub the blood that only he could see from his hands and arms. Embarrassed by his show of emotion in front of the Council member he suddenly wiped the tears away and stated, "This is not right. I should not be acting this way. This behavior is unbecoming of a Jedi and I should not be acting this way." He got up to leave an astonished Mace sitting on the cot. As he approached the surgery room Qui-Gon was just exiting and had witnessed the exchange between Mace and Obi-Wan.

"Master! What were you thinking?! You shouldn't be going in there! Don't you know Master the darkness is all around us now and we must not be separated?! Don't ever go in there again without me by your side! Is that clear?!"

"Excuse me? Don't take that tone with me young man. Is that clear? I am still the Master here or, at least I thought I was, and you will respect that authority. Is that clear my very young Apprentice? "

"Master, you don't understand. I am only trying to protect you from the darkness. It is after all my job as a Jedi to stand by your side. Wait a minute… that's it… you don't want me by your side anymore." Going down on one knee as a sign of respect he began to sob uncontrollably. " Please Master… forgive me for anything that I have done to dishonor you and the Order. Please don't send me away. I promise I won't fail you again. Please Master…Please don't send me away."

Kneeling down to his emotionally crumbling Padawan Qui-Gon wrapped him in a gentle, reassuring hug.

"Calm down Obi-Wan. I would never dream of sending you away. You are my life and my life would not be complete without you in it. " Obi-Wan had begun to wriggle in his strong but gentle arms. "Obi-Wan what are you doing?"

Rubbing at his hands and arms Obi-Wan pleaded, "Master, help me. I can't get it off. Please, help me get it off. Master, the blood it won't come off. Master…why are they here? No. It's not possible. It can't be. Go away!!!! Leave me alone!!!!! Please Master, make them go away."

Obi-Wan who? Make who go away? There's no one there."

Suddenly snapping out of his hallucination he buries his face in his Master's robe.

"Master I am so sorry for my behavior. Please forgive this outburst. It won't happen again. I Will not do anything again to dishonor the Order or you. Now if you don't mind I need to go find Healer Trudeau." Obi-Wan stated pulling away from his Master's embrace.

Mace Windu, still sitting on Obi-Wan's cot, came over to talk with his old friend. Placing a reassuring hand on his friend's shoulder he said, "Obi-Wan is starting to relive everything in his dreams. And, I'm afraid he's not the only one either. I've been in contact with the other teams and have been informed that the other padawans are exhibiting the same behavior......"Mace's voice trailed off unsure if he should tell his friend everything .

"There's more isn't there?" Qui-Gon prodded his old friend on.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. Obi-Wan's afraid of appearing weak in front of you so he's burying his emotions instead of releasing them. And I'm afraid the others are also. We need to get them all back to the Temple before it's too late." Mace said concern coming through in his voice.

"Until then what do we do? You're not going to keep him down. It's obvious he's going to continue to work." Qui-Gon said watching his padawan weave through the maze of cots in search of Healer Trudeau.

"Just be there when the dam breaks...and you know it will. He can't hold it in forever no matter how strong he is. He using every ounce of strength he has left just to keep it contained. Hopefully the Council will send replacements soon." Mace said.

"Thank you Mace for being there for him." Qui-Gon said .

"You're welcome old friend. I only wish I could do more."

* * *

CHAPTER 4

Mace Windu stood on the steps gazing out across the city. He had just contacted the Council and was getting some air before he relayed the news to Qui-Gon.

_Well, no time like the present. Qui's not going to like this but waiting isn't going to make it any easier to tell him. _

Mace turned and went inside to find his old friend. Looking around he saw Obi-Wan leaning over a young girl trying desperately to comfort her. He could feel that her life force was slowly fading and judging by the pained expression on Obi-Wan's face he felt it also. Suddenly, the girl arched off the bed in pain, collapsing back onto the pillow the life force completely draining from her body. Curiously, Obi-Wan staggered back, catching hold of the bed for support. Mace watched as Obi-Wan gently lay his hand on her chest, the pain and sorrow on his face more evident than before. He lifted the top of the blanket covering the girl and gently lowered it over her head in a solemn show of respect, a tear rolling down his cheek. As Mace stood there watching Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon quietly walked up.

"What did you find out from the Council, old friend?" Qui-Gon questioned getting straight to the point.

Caught off guard because of his observations of Obi-Wan, Mace jumped. "Qui, you scared the hell out of me. Don't sneak up on me like that again."

"You should have known I was here. After all, you are a Jedi Master on the Council no less." Qui-Gon said mockingly. "So what did the Council say about the replacements?" He asked again.

"You're not going to like this and neither are the others. The Council said it would take between six and eight weeks before they could get replacements and supplies here." Mace said, sorrow creeping into his voice.

"What!!! Are they kidding? Do they know what's happening to these Padawans? I don't know about the others but Obi-Wan can't keep doing this for another six to eight weeks." Qui-Gon said, shock evident in his voice.

"I know what you're saying, Qui. I was just watching him and I think he's connecting with the injured to help sooth them in their last days. He's connecting with them in a way I have never seen before. He's feeling the same things that they feel as they die. The trouble is that he isn't giving himself time to release the feeling before moving on to the next patient. Qui, I don't know how much longer he's going to be able to hold on before he snaps. I think you need to talk to him...see if you can get him to open up to you. If he doesn't release these feelings soon it will destroy him." Mace said, his worry for Obi-Wan evident.

Qui-Gon dropped his head in sorrow.

"Mace, I don't think he will open up to me......You see, he......closed off the bond we share. I haven't been able to feel anything from him.....and it's tearing me apart. I wish we had never brought him or the others here." Qui-Gon said his heart breaking.

"How long has it been closed?!" Mace, shocked, questioned.

"For the last several days now. Mace, what do we do now?

"Well, all I can say is just be there for him. In time he will come to you for help. In the meantime I'm going to rotate to the other hospitals to help relieve some of the pressure on the Padawans. Hopefully, it won't take the Council as long as they said to get the replacements here."

"I hope you're right old friend. I hope you're right. In the meantime I think I'll go and talk to Obi-Wan, see if maybe I can coax him in to reopening the bond."

As Obi-Wan noticed his Master heading in his direction he turned to go the other way, not wanting his Master to see how this place has affected him.

"Obi-Wan? Come here please."

"Yes Master." Obi-Wan said hanging his head in shame.

_Perfect. How could you be so stupid Kenobi? You should have severed the bond. He'd be a lot better off without you. You're so worthless…. And weak. If you were stronger then he wouldn't have sensed your thoughts. If you were stronger you could have stopped them from dying. _

Trying to put up a strong façade Obi-Wan turned toward his Master, "Yes, what do you need Master?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to go outside for some air so we might talk."

_Great, just what I didn't want to do. He wants to tell me what a failure I am and what a disappointment I am to the Order. Why do I have to be so stupid. Why do I have to be so worthless. Why….Why…. Why? _

Without realizing what he had done Obi-Wan yelled out, "Why!!! Why!!! Why!!!"

"I thought you could use a break but there's no need to yell. If you don't want to go you don't have to."

"I'm sorry Master I didn't mean to yell. A break would be nice."

They had walked outside in relative silence neither sure of how to start this conversation. As they looked out over the devastation Obi-Wan couldn't contain his emotions any longer.

"Master, please don't get rid of me. I know you would be better off with a padawan better than myself. Someone not as worthless and weak as me. You deserve so much better. All I have ever done is cause you and everyone I come in contact with pain and misery. No matter how hard I try master all I'll ever be is a screw-up. I should have died on Bandomeer. You should have let me die. Your life would have been better off without me in it. I should have been able to save them, to ease their suffering but I couldn't. Please Master, I promise, I'll do better, just please don't get rid of me." Obi-Wan pleaded sounding more like that child on Bandomeer.

Qui-Gon's heart was breaking at the confession Obi-Wan was making. "What would make you think I was going to get rid of you? You are everything to me. You are my reason for living Obi-Wan. I would never want to "get rid of you". Obi-Wan look at me," Qui-Gon said with a gentle firmness in his voice, "You are not worthless, nor are you weak. If anything you are stronger than you think. The things you have witnessed are enough to make even the most seasoned Jedi despondent. And, if I may say so, you did ease the suffering of these people. Master Windu told me what you did for that young girl. He told me it was unlike anything he had ever seen. How long have you been able to do that?"

"Do what Master? I didn't do anything, can't you see that, I didn't do anything for them."

"Calm down Obi-Wan. You don't even realize what you can do, do you?"

Obi-Wan was starting to calm down a bit to listen to what his Master was saying, a look of utter confusion on his face, "Huh, what are you talking about Master. All I did was sit by and watch them die."

"Quite the contrary Obi-Wan. It would seem you have an unusual ability my young Apprentice. It would seem that you are able to …… I guess the right way to put it would be absorb the pain and suffering of other people."

"That's not unusual, everybody can do that."

"No Obi-Wan you're wrong there. Think a minute if Master Windu has never seen anything like this then it is a very unique ability you have."

"But I thought everybody was able to do that." Obi-Wan stated as if it were no big deal.

Nearly choking at Obi-Wan's response Qui-Gon questioned, "Obi-Wan, how long have you been able to do that?"

Lowering his head as if he were ashamed he simply stated, "For a couple of years now. Please don't look at me like that."

_Great.. now I'm not only worthless I'm a worthless freak. _

"Obi-Wan, you are not worthless and you are not a freak."

"Master, please quit reading my thoughts. They are mine and they are private." he stated angrily.

"Calm down Obi-Wan. I'm sorry for intruding, but with your crumbling emotions came your shields. I shouldn't have intruded but it felt so nice to finally have your presence back in my mind I couldn't help myself."

Having enough of this discussion, Obi-Wan turned to go back inside. Qui-Gon reached out for his arm but Obi-Wan merely side stepped his Master. No sooner had he stepped inside the door than he was thrown to the floor from the force of an explosion. The door from which he had just entered was hanging by one hinge and debris littered the entrance way. Luckily, there were no patients in the area. Rolling over, realization dawned on him,

"Master!!!!"

Jumping to his feet he quickly he bolted out the door catching his right arm on a jagged piece of metal he hadn't noticed in his haste to get to his Master. As he exited the building the site before him sent shivers down his spine. His Master was lying on the steps completely covered in blood. Rushing to his side he could feel his Master's Force signature slipping away.

"No!!! Oh Force no." Cradling his Master in his arms he knew what he had to do. Using the little strength he had left he concentrated on the force, felt it begin to swirl around him. It felt as though it were pulsing, enveloping him and his Master.

Healer Trudeau was just making his way to the door when he was nearly blinded by the most brilliant light imaginable. It took him a few seconds to realize that the light was coming from Obi-Wan. He stood there completely awed at what he was witnessing. The power coming from Obi-Wan was overwhelming. Vaguely in the distance he could just make out Master Windu. He could just see him starting to move toward the pair engulfed in the light.

Obi-Wan what are you doing? What happened? Am I dead? Did we both die? 

No Master you are not dead and neither am I. Now don't distract me. I must heal you. 

Obi-Wan no. I can feel your signature getting weaker. Stop this now.

No Master, it is the will of the Force. Trust me. Just relax and all will be well.

Slowly the brilliant light began to fade into Obi-Wan, leaving Mace Windu and Healer Trudeau staring with their mouths hung open. A soft moan could be heard from Qui-Gon but Obi-Wan just sat there cradling his Master in his arms. Qui-Gon slowly opened his eyes to see his padawan kneeling, head bent, eyes closed.

"Obi-Wan, can you hear me?" Qui-Gon muttered.

Reaching out through the Force he could just barely feel his Padawan's signature.

"No!" he croaked out. "Healer Trudeau help him. He's dying."

"Relax Qui-Gon he is not dying. He has merely withdrawn into the Force to recuperate some of his lost energy. You see it takes quite a lot of energy to do what he just did. And quite a bit of control too."

"You help Qui-Gon and I'll get Obi-Wan. " Healer Trudeau said.

Master Windu bent down to help Qui-Gon but was brushed away.

"All I need is a hand to get off the ground. I feel fine. Actually, I feel better than I have in a very long time."

Once Qui-Gon was off the ground Trudeau bent down and gently scooped Obi-Wan up.

"He's actually quite light in this state almost as light as air."

The pair were taken to a private room where Obi-Wan was placed on the bed for examination.

"He'll be out of it for three to four days this time but he'll make a full recovery."

"How was he able to do what he did?" Qui-Gon asked, not sure if he wanted the answer or not.

"Let me start from the beginning. In ancient Jedi prophecy there is the story of the one who will bring balance to the Force. I know you both have been told this story before, as we all have been. There is another part of this story that not many Jedi know. Those that had been told the story passed it on through the generations. I was fortunate enough to have been apprenticed to one of those fortunate Jedi. The story, as it were relayed to me, is that there were two separate beings of The Chosen One. You have heard the story that this Chosen One will bring balance to the Force. In order to have balance in the Force you have to have the Light side of the Force and the Dark side of the Force. It is the same with the Chosen One."

Qui-Gon stared at Master Windu speechless.

Finding his voice Qui-Gon asked, "Does Obi-Wan know this?"

"No. And he must never know the truth nor should anyone else. If word gets out what he is his life will be in grave danger."

"Is this why he and I were chosen for this mission?"

"No, when I said only a few Jedi know of this, I meant it. Master Yoda knows, but to my knowledge he is the only one on the Council that does. Am I right Master Windu?"

"I'm sorry Qui, but I knew. Yoda passed the Information on to me many years ago. He swore me to secrecy and I have upheld that secret and will until my dying day."

"Why that little troll. Why didn't he tell me? After all I am his Master." Qui-Gon said angrily.

"He was trying to protect you both. Luckily, I don't think anyone saw the light show Obi-Wan put on."

"Master will you and Master Windu stop arguing it's giving me a headache." Obi-Wan said

All three of them jumped, not expecting Obi-Wan to even be awake yet, let alone out of bed.

"Obi-Wan you scared us," they all said in unison.

"Master, you are alive. It worked." Obi-Wan said enthusiastically.

"Obi-Wan get back in that bed right now," Trudeau stated.

"Ooo busted. I guess I'd better do what I'm told. Anyway I'm kind of tired."

* * *

**More to come soon. Please review my story. I'm testing my writing abilities, if any. **


	2. What's Expected Part 2

Thanks to all who read and reviewed my work. I greatly appreciate it. Sorry it has taken me so long to update but I have been quite busy with the dreaded real life. You know it has to rear its ugly head now and again to keep us on our toes. I hope you like this part and I will be adding new stories as I finish with them. In the future I intend to only post completed stories. Thanks again for the reviews.

Chapter 5

Obi-Wan slowly walked back to his cot, Qui-Gon trailing after him. He quietly lay down on the cot. Qui-Gon gently covered him with a blanket and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze just to let him know he was there if he needed to talk.

"Master..."Obi-Wan broke off uncertain how to start.

"It's OK Obi-Wan we can talk later when you have recuperated some."Qui-Gon said incorporating as much kindness and love into his voice.

Obi-Wan bolted up from the cot and angrily said, "No Master it's not OK. What's wrong with me? Why am I able to do things other Jedi cannot?..." Obi-Wan stopped as a sudden horrifying vision came to him."Oh no...no... that's why he hated me. No wonder, he had every reason to hate me, everybody does. I...I nearly killed him."

Seeing the fear and shattered expression on Obi-Wan's face tore at Qui-Gon's heart. Reaching out for his padawan he did the only thing he felt he could do. He wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan and held him as his padawan's strong emotional resolve finally broke and he cried uncontrollably for what seemed like an eternity. Suddenly, as quickly as it started it ended with Obi-Wan trying desperately to get out of his Master's embrace.

"Master, please let me go. This behavior is totally unacceptable. It is not the behavior of a Jedi. I will do better Master, just let me go."

"No Obi-Wan not this time. Not until we have straightened some things out. First, I would never, ever send you away. I don't know why you think I would. Nothing that you say or do will ever make me want to "get rid of you" as you put it. You are not some stray that I picked up and can not keep..."

"You say that but you don't know what I have done. How I have shamed both you and the Jedi Order. I can't believe they let me stay this long. They should have banished me for the protection of the entire Order,"Obi-Wan ranted. "Master, You are wrong in one aspect, I am a freak. No one else in the Order can do the things I do so that makes me a freak, more than that Master, it makes me dangerous. Now, if you don't mind I am very tired. I just want to go to sleep."

"Stop this Obi-Wan, stop this now. You are not a freak and you definately are not dangerous. Yes, you are right that no one else can do the things you do and that's what makes you so special..."

"I don't want to be special, I just want to be like everybody else. Can't you just understand that?" Obi-Wan yelled at his Master.

"Calm down Obi-Wan, just calm down..."

"I don't want to calm down and I don't want to be special and I wish I had never came to this planet."Yelled Obi-Wan as he force shoved his Master away from him sending him tumbling off the cot dazed. Obi-Wan then jumped up from the cot,stared at his Master lying on the floor and ran past Mace Windu trying to get as far away from his Master and what he had done. Having seen what had just happened Mace reached out to try and stop him but Obi-Wan side stepped out of reach and ran out of the building. Qui-Gon was just beginning to stagger to his feet as Mace ran over to help his friend.

"Qui, What the hell is going on here?"

"I do believe that perverbial dam that you talked about has just broken," Qui-Gon quipped.

"Are you OK? He shoved you pretty hard. All I saw when I looked up was arms and legs going in every imaginable direction."

"Yes I'm fine old friend. Now let's go get my wayward apprentice before he can hurt himself."

Mace and Qui-Gon serched for several hours and were beginning to think Obi-Wan had simply vanished into thin air. It was beginning to get dark and they were losing hope of finding him before the temperatures started dropping.

"Qui we need to go back to the hospital and get some lights before it gets dark and we can't find our way back."

"Maybe you're right Mace," he stated despondently.

"Qui, we're being watched from that building over to the right. I believe it's Obi-Wan. I sensed him earlier but the signature kept fading in and out, like he's trying to cloak his signature but can't control the cloak. Qui, Let's keep walking as if we didn't sense anything, then we'll circle around to the back of the building and catch him off guard, then try to help him together."

"I sensed him too. He's so confused right now. He's got so many emotions running rampant right now and he's trying to control something he doesn't have the strenght to control. At least I can sense him now. He had been shutting me out but, with his crumbling emotional state his shields are also crumbling. "

Mace and Qui-Gon continued walking and rounded the corner to the back of the building. They quietly entered the building from a broken door. As soon as they were inside, the smell of rotting flesh nearly overcame them. They moved slowly in the direction that Obi-Wan was in. As they peered through an open door the site that befell them was heart-wrenching. Obi-Wan was kneeling on the ground holding a person that had obviously been dead for quite some time, the flesh nearly completely decayed away. It appeared to be ,from the size, the body of a child. Tears flowing freely down his cheeks. The two Jedi Masters just stared at each other in disbelief and quietly stepped through the door so as not to startle Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon began to step forward to comfort his Padawan but was stopped by Mace.

"What are you doing Mace? I have to help him."

"Let him come to you Qui. He is at the end of his emotional rope and he's going to have to reach out for you."

Obi-Wan jumped when he heard their voices but didn't get off the floor from his kneeling position. He turned sorrow filled eyes toward the Masters and said, "It's so unfair Masters. Why did all of this have to happen? These people...these children didn't deserve to die...children never deserve to die. It's all so senseless."

Before either of the Masters had a chance to answer the apparition of a young girl appeared before them. Her form was surrounded by a bright light and a peaceful felling could be felt throughout the bombed out building.

"Yes Obi-Wan it is I, Aileen. You must not blame yourself for the deaths of my people. You did not cause their deaths. If anything, you gave them peace in their last hours. You give without thought of yourself. You have saved so many people but all you see in yourself is the things you were unable to do."

"I saved no one. I only made them sleep so they wouldn't suffer anymore."

"Obi-Wan, she is right. You have saved so many. Think of the countless number of people you saved before Master Windu and myself got to the hospital. You say you saved no one? Well what about me Obi-Wan? If it wasn't for you I know I would not have survived that blast to the hospital. More than that you saved me the day you came into my life on the way to Bandomeer. Obi-Wan, it was not you personally why I didn't want to take you as my Padawan then. I was afraid...afraid of the pain in my heart cause by Zanatos' turning. I was afraid that if I let you into my heart you would hurt me also. The pain and my stubborness made me keep you at a distance from my heart. I was so afraid of being hurt again that I hurt you and made you so insecure. Obi-Wan I love you and would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. You are special, not because of your abilities but because of what you have inside. There is so much light flowing through you that no amount of darkness can ever get to you. You are so much wiser in the ways of the Living Force than I ever gave you credit for," Qui-Gon said, inflicting all of his love into his voice and miving to kneel beside Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan, it is time for me to go. I just wanted to return long enough to return some of the kindness you showed to me and my people. Listen to your Master, he is speaking from his heart. He does love you Obi-Wan."

Slowly Aileen faded away. When she had completely faded from view Obi-Wan gently lay the body of the dead child gently on the ground beside of him. He turned towards his Master and looked into his blue eyes. He held the gaze briefly then fell into his Master. Qui-Gon immediately wrapped his big arms tightly around his Padawan. Both Master and Padawan let all emotional barriers drop.

"Master, I am so sorry I kept shutting you out. I never..."

"Shh Obi-Wan, it is I who is sorry. You have done nothing but make me proud to have you as my Padawan. If I wasn't such a stubborn old fool I would have seen it a long time ago..."

"Master, will you help me to understand why I am able to do the things others cannot?"

Qui-Gon looked at Mace who simply nodded his head.

"When the time is right young one. Right now we need to get you back to Healer Trudeau or he'll have my hide."

The last statement elicited a laugh from Obi-Wan.

"Master, one more thing...You're not old...stubborn, but not old. Now... Master Windu... he's another story," Obi-Wan said, a smile on his face that still didn't quite reach his eyes.

"What do you mean OLD. Qui-Gon is the one with all that gray hair you know," Mace jumped in defending his honor.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan gave him a quizical look and burst out laughing.

"What? What are you two laughing at?"

"Is that why you shaved your head Master Windu? So no one can tell if you have any gray hair?" Obi-Wan said, laughing hysterically when he finished the sentence.


	3. What's Expected Part 3

Indicates telepathy

_Indicates thought_

CHAPTER 6

The Jedi team spent another three weeks on the planet before more supplies and more Jedi arrived. Upon returning to Courscant they were debriefed by the Council and all were taken off mission status until such time as they were deemed fit for duty again. They all knew it would be awhile before the padawans would be ready for missions.

They were back home for a week when Qui-Gon was awakened in the middle of the night by Obi-Wan's screams. He immediately ran into Obi-Wan's room to console him.

"Wake up Obi-Wan. It's just a nightmare. Calm down, I'm here for you. Calm down. Shh Shh."

Obi-Wan pulled out of his Master's embrace and stared up at him.

"Master you said you would tell me why I am able to do the things that others cannot. I Need to know now Master. Why, if my ability is supposed to be so pure then why did I nearly kill Bruck with it when we were little?"

A shocked expression on his face Qui-Gon said,"What are you talking about Obi-Wan?"

"When we were very small, still in the creche, Bruck and I got into a fight of some kind and I nearly killed him with my so called pure ability."

"Maybe you should start from the beginning because I don't know anything about this."

"I can't remember all of it. It started coming back to me in visions on Arboreal. What I do remember is broken and confusing. I see Bruck and there's another boy there but I don't know who he is. Then I see Bruck lying unconscious on the floor. Master, I think that that fight is the reason he hated me so much...the reason he want..."

Obi-Wan was interupted by the door chime. Qui-Gon went to get the door. Obi-Wan stayed on his bed and pulled his knees to his chest and put his head on his knees. He then felt the warm hand of Master Windu touching the top of his head.

"It's time he knows the truth. Qui-Gon, you go fix us some tea and meet us in the common room."

Qui-Gon went into the kitchen to brew the tea and Obi-Wan followed obediently behind Master Windu. A short time later Qui-Gon immerged from the kitchen with three steaming cups of tea. Obi-Wan was the first to break the silence.

"Master,please tell me what's wrong with me."

"You're so sure something's wrong with you. This should never have been kept from you. Obi-Wan, I know you have heard the prophecy of the Chosen One. There is another aspect to the prophecy that not many Jedi know. What we are all told is that the Chosen One will be conceived in the Force and impregnanted in a host to be born in the natural way of that species. Well, the part of the prophecy that is not known by many is that there are two aspects of the Chosen One...A light aspect and a dark aspect. With both aspects there is enormous power. For instance..what you did for Qui-Gon. You are of the Light Side Obi-Wan and can only do good. The visions you are having are from something that you have surpressed for many years. When you were six years old you happened upon Bruck beating up another member of the creche. You protected that child with what can only be described as an extremely powerful Light Side Force bubble. Because, even at that young age, Bruck had the Dark Side flowing through him he was repelled from the bubble. When Master Yoda arrived at the scene you and Bruck were both unconscious and near death. The child you were protecting was completely healed, awake and staring at you in complete awe. The three of you were taken to the healer's ward. The healers stabilized Bruck but were uncertain of you. They did not believe you would make it through the night. The next morning, to the surprise of all the healers, not only did you make it through the night but you were trying to escape from the Healer's Ward. You couldn't rember why you were in the Healer's Ward but you knew you didn't want to be there. They kept you there for another day then release you to the Creche Master. Bruck didn't come out of it for another three weeks. You see Obi-Wan, you are the light aspect of the Chosen One. That's why you can do things that no one else in the Temple, including Master Yoda, can do."

When Master Windu finished talking Obi-Wan moved to stare out the window. Mace and Qui-Gon walked over to him to give him comfort and strength.

"Obi-Wan, I know this is a lot to take in. You know if you need anything from me or any member of the Council just ask. Right now, though, I think you and your Master needs some time together. I'll show myself out and Obi-Wan...May The Force Be With You."

With that Mace left Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon in quiet contemplation. Qui-Gon stood behind Obi-Wan waiting for him to speak first.

"Master, this is all so unbelievable. If it's alright with you I'd like to go to the Meditation Gardens for a while."

"Sure Obi-Wan I'll just get changed and we can go down together."

"I need to be alone right now Master."

Obi-Wan went into his room to change, leaving a slightly dejected Qui-Gon staring out the window. A few minutes later Obi-Wan emerged from his room.

"On second thought, I really don't want to be alone right now. Will you join me in the Meditation Gardens?"

"Only if it is what you want Obi-Wan."

"Thank you Master. Go get dressed and I'll brew us some more tea."

Two hours later Obi-Wan emerged from his meditation to find Qui-Gon leaned up against a tree sleeping. He quietly covered him with his robe. During his meditation he managed to resolve some of the issues from his mission to Arboreal as well as some of the things Master Windu had told him. He began walking around the pond in the Meditation Gardens and before he realized it he was standing in the very spot that Bruck had died in. Realization hit him and he fell to his knees.

"Bruck, I don't know if you can hear me or not but please forgive me for what I did to you all those years ago. I never meant to hurt anyone..."

Just then the transparent, but dark form of Bruck appeared before him.

"It is I that should ask forgiveness, not you. All my life I let anger lead my life for me. I took it out on anyone in my way...mostly you. That anger was eventually my own undoing, not you Obi-Wan. You did not kill me... I killed myself a long time ago when I chose to follow the Dark Side. I did hate you but not for the reasons you think. I hated you because you were everything I would never be...good," Suddenly the form of Bruck knelt down on one knee in front of Obi-Wan, "and now I come to you as my one act of repentance to ask for your forgiveness and to tell you to let go of your guilt. You have nothing to feel guilty for. Please forgive me for all the wrong I have done to you."

A sudden saddness washed over Obi-Wan and he said, "All is forgiven. Now go and rest in peace. Your soul is free now."

Bruck stood from his kneeling position and looked at Obi-Wan his eye saying what he could not verbalize. A sudden bright light began to descend from above to envelope Bruck and Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan no you can't come with me it is not your time."

"It's OK Bruck, I will be fine. No go it is time for you to finally be one with the Force."

Qui-Gon awoke with a start to see the bright light of the Force fading from the Gardens, Obi-Wan standing in the middle of it. As the light faded completely he saw his Padawan stagger. He jumped up and ran to him only to have Obi-Wan wave him off.

"It's Ok Master. I'm fine. Just a little unfinished business. Can we just go back to our quarters now? I'm kind of tired."

"Yes of course Obi-Wan. Are you sure you're Ok?"

"Yes Master, I promise I'm Ok."

They walked slowly back to their quarters.

Master I'm fine, really. My meditation went well. Stop worrying. No wonder you have all that gray hair.

Funny, very funny. You're sure you're Ok?

Yes Master I'm sure. I still have some things to work out but I'm sure that with your help I'll get through those things too.


End file.
